Advice
by T0PH4T
Summary: Bleiss is a color and personality-swapped Weiss, the creation of a certain Discord server. As a rite of passage, I wrote a one-shot for her. Features zero smut and one case of hand-licking.


"Your books suck."

"Hello to you too, Bleiss," Blake said, licking finger and turning a page, eyes not leaving her novel as she let the gentle murmur of the library wash over her. "If you're here to molest Jaune, know that he doesn't enter the library without one of us forcing him here."

"He's training with Pyrrha the _hussie_ right now," Bleiss spat, venom dripping from the words as her eyes got that far-away look that typically preceded violence before transforming into a more natural disdain. "But I'm not here for him." The Faunus raised an eyebrow. "I'm here to ask for some heterosexual smut."

The ambient chatter, previously a pleasant white noise, died instantly.

Blake carefully picked up her bookmark, put it between the pages, then closed her novel. She lifted her narrowed amber eyes to meet Bleiss' uncaring, red ones.

"Excuse me?" Blake asked, a dangerous note in her voice. "Would you care to rephrase that?" A few of the more clever students began packing up, making a point to avoid looking at the two black-clad girls.

"You heard me. Straight. Smut," Bleiss enunciated, tone unchanging. "All the books in your room are girls on girls and guys on guys." More students stood up, even as the hushed whispers started up again. "I mean, it's hot and it gets me off," she added with a idle wave her hand, "but I'd like a little variety in my erotica. What's a girl got to do for some dick in vagina action?"

Blake bared her teeth as she slowly set her book down, the sound unusually loud in the empty library. "First, my collection of _literature_ ," she said, stressing the last word, "is not your personal porn supply." Bleiss rolled her eyes.

"Maybe you should've hidden it better," she said, turning away to inspect her nails, heedless of the murderous gaze leveled at her. "Under your mattress? Really? Even Ruby's read a few pages by now."

"What?" Blake whispered, color leaving her face as she considered some of the scenes in those books and how a young, impressionable mind might be disturbed. And how an older and more overprotective mind might take offense at such corruption.

"I mean, she started going all red and stammery when I started reading 'Kimiko and the Plundering Pirates' aloud," Bleiss said before sent a condescending look to Blake, who's expression had shifted from fear to mortification. "Also, how can you call any book with "plundering" in the title as literature? Seriously, call it what it is, we won't judge. Much," she added with a vicious grin.

"Does Yang know?" Blake asked, standing up and packing her bags as she began to consider ways to defuse the situation. Bribes, perhaps? Professional hits? Sexual favors?

On second thought that last one may not go over nearly as well in _this_ particular context.

"I mean, I told her you have smut under your bed," Bleiss added, falling in step next to the Faunus as they walked out of the library. When her teammate gave her a look that expressed betrayal in all its varied forms, the heiress snorted. "Please, she won't do anything about it. She wants decent fantasy fodder just as much as the rest of us."

"When did I become the source for everyone's masturbation material?" Blake muttered, shaking her head as she scanned the hallway for other students.

"About the same time we learned about your obsession with Kaiya Senshi's fantasies," Bleiss replied. "Now seriously, do you have anything for those of us into more traditional fucking?" she asked, voice empty of it's usual sarcasm. "Seriously, help a sister out."

A few titles came to mind.

"Even if I did, why would I tell you?" Blake asked, taking a right into the less-populated hallway. "You just accused me of hoarding erotica in public!" The last words came out as a hiss as she turned to her teammate, eyes narrowed and hands clenched. "Do you have any idea what that's going to do to my reputation?"

"Lioness should not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep," Bleiss said, making a dismissive gesture with her hand. "So what you have a collection of books about people having sex? Chances are they have more porn in their search histories than you have in your entire fucking collection. Heh," Bleiss snorted after a second. "'Fucking collection. Gonna tell that one to Yang." Blake whined at the though of her two teammates collaborating.

Maybe JNPR had a spare bed? She could always share a bed with Nora. Or Pyrrha. Or Ren. Or Ja-

Not Jaune.

"And you should help me because I can help you expand your library," Bleiss added, a triumphant twinkle in her red eyes. Blake snapped out of her trance and looked at the other girl skeptically.

"I already own all her books and I don't collect special editions. What could you possibly offer me?" Blake asked, shaking her head. "Sorry, money can't buy everything," she said, a sense of finality descending upon the golden-eyed girl.

"If money can't buy something, you clearly haven't spent enough," Bleiss replies, smirking at Blake's flat expression. "And you only have all her books that the publishers were okay putting to print," Bleiss corrected, pulling a small black book out of her bag. "On the other hand, the Schnee name opens that particular door a little wider." Blake's eyes zeroed in on the manuscript.

"What is that?" she asked, vague ideas floating up in her head, hopes that couldn't possibly-

"The next book in the series," Bleiss said lightly, proving to Blake that good things did happen to bad people from time to time. "Set for release next year. It's missing the hands of an editor, but supposedly that just means that they haven't stripped out the hottest stuff out yet." Bleiss started flipping the book in her hand, pages fanning out for a moment, teasing at the deliciously saucy content. "I wasn't able to get _all_ of the first drafts, but I did manage to acquire a few that might read a little differently from the official release." With difficulty, Blake tore her eyes away from the tantalizing paperback.

"What do you want?" she said, managing to keep her hands at her side. "I'm not saying that I'll do whatever you ask, but I'm open to offers."

"What?" Bleiss asked, false indignation on her face and she pressed the book to her chest. "Are you implying that I, Bleiss Schnee, would want-"

"Yes," Blake interrupted impenitently. "Getting an early release copy? Sure. Getting access to novel still in the process of being published? Earlier versions? That's too much for a book recommendation." She nodded towards an alcove and the two girls moved out of sight. After checking for nearby people, Blake looked her teammate in the eye, intense and searching. "What's the catch?"

"You've been in a relationship, correct?" Bleiss asked. Blake blinked. Twice. Of all the potential questions...

"By relationship-"

"Specifically one where you had sex," Bleiss clarified. When Blake didn't react she went on. "Fiance, significant other, friends-with-benefits, pleasure slave, whatever. Have you-"

"Yes," Blake said, interrupting the heiress, with a raised hand and a flushed face. "I have."

"And I assume-" Blake's hand found Bleiss's mouth before more filth could spill from it.

"Yes," Blake repeated, voice tight and controlled. "But I don't see what that has to do with _Bleiss_!" she shrieked, jerking her hand back. "Did you just-"

"Lick your hand? Would you prefer a hicky?" Bleiss asked with a raised eyebrow. When the taller girl just glared, she continued. "I want advice."

Blake paused, mouth slightly open. Then she shook her head.

"Advice?" she echoed and Bleiss nodded.

"Ways to broach the subject of intercourse, the best positions, whatever," she said, meeting Blake's eyes without blinking. "Anything and everything you know about the carnal arts, from the approach to the aftermath. In return, I'm willing to-"

"Why are you asking me?" Blake interrupted. "You come onto Jaune every time you see him. He blushes if you _smile_ too hard in his direction. What on earth-"

" _And it's not working_ ," Bleiss said, gritting her teeth and clenching her hands into fists. "If I was anymore obvious I'd go to class in nothing but a bra and panties and shimmy his leg screaming ' _Fuck me Jaune_ ' but even _that_ wouldn't actually get him in bed!" Her hands went to her head and she started pulling at her hair. "I've tried subtle, I've tried overt, and I've tried dressing up in nothing but artfully placed black ribbon and waiting on his bed for a ravishment after he comes back from training with that Nikos bitch but _none of it works!_ I'd think he'd be gay or ace if I didn't know for a _fact_ that he got caught whacking it to a pin-up of Miss November by Nora!" After catching her breath and muttering something along the lines of 'lucky ditz' before dropping her hands to her side and refocusing on Blake. "I've _tried_ doing it on my own. It didn't work. So I'm asking for help."

Blake stood dumbstruck, staring at the grimacing girl. After a moment, she swallowed and spoke.

"Bleiss..."

"Yes. The great Bleiss has failed. Ha ha, very funny, can you help now?" Bleiss said, sarcasm moving to helpless sorrow. Blake noticed the tensing around Bleiss's ruby eyes as she held back tears, the blush of embarrassment on her cheeks that stood out like a red flag against snow.

Blake paused for a moment, unsure of what to do.

Then she put out her arms and hugged the heiress close. After a short sniffle, the heiress returned it.

"If you want help, all you have to do is ask," Blake whispered. "You don't have to pay your friends."

"I know, stupid cat," Bleiss mumbled. "Now get off before people get the wrong idea." Blake smiled, pushing the other girl away as she quirked an eyebrow.

"Didn't you say girl on girl was hot earlier?" she asked. Bleiss rolled her eyes, waving a hand at her.

"Hot to read. Not hot when your friend is trying to molest you in a shady hallway," she muttered. She pushed the book into Blake's chest. "Here. A gift. Now how do I get into Jaune's pants?" Blake laughed as they started walking back to their dorm.

"Well, first you'll want to try to get closer by degrees. One step at a time."


End file.
